melting.

[lingeringviolet]

you intimidate me with your five-hundred dollar pumps and your conservative sweater sets. your soft, whisper of a voice and your slim, neat pencil skirts moving about your spacious office with-a-view with such easy grace and i feel small inside my too-large body and you find me in all of my secret hiding places with your eyes. i'm trembling and vulnerable and staring at the floor and you ask me how school is going. school is not going, thank you very much and no, i'm not sleeping as well as i would like but better than last year so i won't complain. visibly shaking and sweating, i agree to make another appointment in six months and then i walk as fast as my short, stubby legs will carry me to the ladies room down the hall and lock myself in a stall and try to remember how to breathe.

i didn't really forget about the december appointment, i just couldn't face you that day.

i'm sorry.